BUSH SLAMS K-FED
FU ON FEDERLINE CAUSES BUSH'S POPULARITY TO SKYROCKET

WASHINGTON, D.C.--President Bush's approval rating experienced a dramatic upswing Wednesday after images of him delivering an "FU" slam to Kevin "Mr. Britney Spears" Federline made their way across television news networks and the world wide web.

Federline was visiting the nation's capital to promote his upcoming album, "Playing With Fire," and was stunned to learn that he had recieved an invitation to the White House for lunch with the Commander-in-Chief. Little did Federline know, Bush issued the invitation expressly to tell K-Fed how much he "sucked major-league ass." Upon hearing Federline's rebuttal, the president scooped up America's most famous gold digger and slammed him to the ground in what was described as "an FU worthy of an undeserved one-year title reign."

The move, widely lauded by conservative and liberal pundits alike, saw the president's approval rating skyrocket from a lowly 25% to an unprecedented 100%. "Normally, I'd see anything with the word 'Bush' attached to it and think 'Oh God, what now?'" stated "Fahrenheit 9/11" director Michael Moore. "But seeing that little punk Federline get his ass planted into the Rose Garden was amazing."

"We may be losing faith in our great nation's leader, but Lord Almighty, it was spiritual to see him give that male Jezebel exactly what was coming to him!" agreed Armageddon Hysterist Rev. Pat Robertson.

"I voted Kerry in the last presidential election, but now I'm glad that we have someone like Bush in office," said registered Democrat Julia Jacobs of Des Moines, IA. "I don't think Kerry would have had the cojones to lay K-Fed out like that. Bush really spoke for all of us yesterday."

Although she declined to speak with TWIT when reached for comment, the multiplatinum pop star and mother to two of Federline's children Britney Spears was reported to be barely containing a smirk at Wednesday's news.

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