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BUSH
SLAMS K-FED
 FU
ON FEDERLINE CAUSES BUSH'S POPULARITY TO SKYROCKET
WASHINGTON, D.C.--President Bush's approval rating
experienced a dramatic upswing Wednesday after images of him delivering
an "FU" slam to Kevin "Mr. Britney Spears"
Federline made their way across television news networks and the
world wide web.
Federline was visiting the nation's capital to promote his upcoming
album, "Playing With Fire," and was stunned to learn
that he had recieved an invitation to the White House for lunch
with the Commander-in-Chief. Little did Federline know, Bush issued
the invitation expressly to tell K-Fed how much he "sucked
major-league ass." Upon hearing Federline's rebuttal, the
president scooped up America's most famous gold digger and slammed
him  to
the ground in what was described as "an FU worthy of an undeserved
one-year title reign."
|  KIRCHNER,
JBL INTERNET RUMORS TRACED BACK TO TOMMY FLANAGAN
NEW YORK, NY- Several wrestling news publications
recently reported the source, who revealed that Corporal
Kirchner was dead, and that John "Bradshaw" Layfield
was quitting Smackdown. These shocking news stories originated
from the computer of former "Saturday Night Live"
guest Tommy Flanagan, who claims to have heard the news
firsthand while "hanging out backstage, yeah, with
my good friend, uh, Vince McMahon, yeah."
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GUEST
EDITORIAL
 A
CHEST TATTOO IS BOUND TO PLEASE THE LADIES
By Brock Lesnar
Check it out: this sword on my huge pecs
looks like it was totally made from steel, man! I showed
it to the girls down at the bar the other night, and they
could barely contain themselves! One of them even called
over her friends to have a look at the Brock and I can still
remember her words: "Oh my God, Amy! You have GOT to
be kidding me!" |
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Registration
Drops Off At Funk U. As Tuitions Rise
Melina
Places First In The Kentucky Derby
Cena
Offends Core Audience By Calling Spongebob Squarepants "Gay"
Boogeyman:
"Nobody Likes Me, Everybody Hates Me"